My classroom is my home away from home.
I spend all day there with a whole bunch of kids and I would like it be
pleasantJ So, I try very hard to create an atmosphere
that is free of chaos, stress, and discord.
One of the ways I try to do that is to make sure I am not constantly
disciplining, intervening, or being interrupted. I use a combination of explicit instruction
and practice of routines and procedures, developing relationships with
children, and keeping an organized space where the students can help manage
materials and themselves.
I have written previous posts on routines and procedures and developing
relationships so on to fairness and trust!
Fairness and trust are paramount to developing relationships with
children in the classroom. Children must
be able to completely trust me and know that I absolutely believe in them.
If they are to trust me, then I must be fair and honest with them.
Developing an environment of fairness and trust is one of those
classroom goals that is hard to completely quantify. It doesn't always follow the flowchart and
every individual situation is different, so I have to work crazy hard to make it happen. Some parts of it are fairly straightforward
like being honest with my kids, apologizing when I make a mistake, and preserving
the dignity of others. Other parts like logical
consequences and consistency have been more challenging to master.
Logical consequences should be as immediate as possible and the “punishment
fits the crime.” So, I will not tell a
kid to walk laps or sit out at recess because he threw food at lunch. A more logical consequence would be to clean
up after lunch and that may mean he misses some of recess while he’s
cleaning. Missing a few minutes of recess because he is
cleaning up his mess is much more powerful than just walking laps as
punishment.
Throwing out consequences for every infraction usually does not change behavior. Not to say, it doesn't always work. But to what cost?
Her is an incident that happened to my oldest boy that illustrates how just meting out punishment creates an atmosphere of resentment that can lead to all sorts of unintended consequences.
My oldest son is one of those teacher’s dream students who pays
attention, has great behavior, gets good grades, follows directions, etc. etc.
you get the picture. (I don’t know how I
got that child, by the way!)
In fifth grade, he had a teacher who was a big believer in punishment to manage behavior. She handed out punishment for every infraction, the kids lived in fear of her and really didn't like her very much. (Determined from many overheard conversations of the kids at soccer practice.)
But towards the end of the year,
when his fifth grade teacher was clearly done, I got some interesting news – he
had refused to walk punishment laps at recess and the teacher sent him to the
office! Now, what would drive an over achieving,
rule following, teacher pleasing kid who had never been in trouble at school in his life to that kind of behavior?
Let’s back up to that morning. He forgot to get his planner out of his
backpack and had to go back to the closet for it. The teacher gave him 5 laps – her designated punishment
for forgetting something in the backpack.
About an hour later, he got 5 more laps because he asked to go to the
bathroom during class. And then, 5 more
laps for not having a sharpened pencil.
Recess rolls around and the teacher tells him to walk 15 laps. The playground is huge and 15 laps would have taken him a couple of days of recess to complete. He decided that he had had about enough of the constant fear and punishment and he pushed back. He said, “This isn't fair and I won't do it. I want
you to call my parents.”
Wow.
I NEVER would have imagined
that little scenario, this kid is respectful to his teachers no matter what. But I gotta admit, I was a little, itty bit proud:)
Not that he was disrespectful, but that he recognized that things had gone way out of control, that pouring out of piles of consequences was unfair and he was attempting to stand up for himself.
So my questions are – In what way were his consequences logical? How were those consequences going to help
change his behavior?
Was the
student/teacher relationship strong, respectful, fair, and honest?
Was he going to trust his teacher enough to be able to dare to try and
fail?
What would have been better choices for consequences? Were consequences even necessary?
The only result from her form of discipline was a distrustful,
resentful child, a frustrated teacher, a busy principal bothered when she needn't have been, and a highly irritated parent.
This happened a couple of years ago and he is still an awesome student.
He has learned to trust teachers again, but he knows which ones truly care about him and which ones are phoning it in.
Sometimes determining the most logical, dignity-preserving, consistent
consequence is tough. Teachers have to
make a gazillion decisions a minute and try to make these choices on the fly
sometimes. It’s not easy, but I believe it’s
worth it.
I think if walking laps at recess or sitting at silent lunch worked, we wouldn't still be doing it in May. (Oddly
enough, the teacher didn't seem to appreciate it when I told her that. J Yes, I know, I shouldn't have gone there!)
Any time we are unfair,
dishonest, or untrustworthy, we are providing an environment where a child may
not try new things if failure is possible because they do not trust that
they will be safe when they do so.
Most of the time, I don't give consequences for minor everyday things. If it becomes a habit for one or two kids to always forget to put their folder in the basket, then I will come up with a plan to help them remember, not give them consequences for forgetting. If Sam loses his pencil once or twice - no big deal. If he does it everyday, what can I do to help him learn to remember?
Ultimately, I want my kids to learn to do the right thing and be responsible and I don't think punishment is the way to achieve that. I only use consequences when behavior is repeated, negative, and intrusive. And it is easier to determine consequences for those sorts of behaviors.
I try to think about how I would like others to deal with me. What would I like my principal to do if I forgot to turn in paperwork one day? What should happen if I don't turn it in every week? What should happen if lots of teachers aren't turning in paperwork? I don't always get it right, but I try to be fair and get it as close to right as I can each day:)
I am going to keep working to be
as fair and honest and trustworthy as I can, knowing that I will mess it up
sometimes and I will get it right sometimes (hopefully more times than I get it
wrong!) I will make every effort to create
a classroom atmosphere that helps kids feel safe enough to fail, strong enough
to succeed, and empowered enough to come to me openly and respectfully when they
feel wronged.
For more posts in the Classroom Management Blog Series,
click on the titles below.
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